My Flock Oneshots
by Amy-Katherine914
Summary: These are just a bunch of oneshots of the flock couples and flock members. Some have music and some don't. I'll let you know if any continue to another chapter...plz read.
1. All I Want For Christmas Is You

**These are just a bunch of one-shots. Some have music; others don't. I got bored and I couldn't think of anything else for my other stories so…yeah. Enjoy.**

**I do not own M.R. JP does.**

"Max?"

"Hmm?" I turned in the direction of Mom's voice and smiled at her. "What do you need, Mom?"

"What would you like for Christmas?"

I stood up from my chair at my desk and hugged her. "You've given me a family who shares my blood- you've given me love; you're all that I want. Giving me something would be too much."

"Aw, Max. When did you get so deep?" She asked laughing. I broke away from her and lightly whapped her arm. "I was only joking, honey."

"I know." I sat back down in my chair and started typing. My mom walked out of my room and my hands froze on the keys. I sighed.

The flock and I no longer lived in Arizona with Mom and Ella- we convinced them to move to New York. Our house was big and everyone got their own room. I pushed against the desk and my chair moved away, me along with it. I stood and left my room. I walked past Ella, Nudge, and Fang's room on my left and Mom, Iggy, and Gazzy's on my right. My room was at the far end of the upstairs of the house. I walked down the stairs and through the kitchen.

I was about to walk out the front door when the hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I turned around. "Would you quit that?"

Fang smirked. "Quit what; breathing?"

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "You know what,"

He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Your mom says I have to get everyone a present for Christmas so… what do you want for Christmas?"

I just looked at him and studied his features. His muscles were neither small nor big but just right. His eyes were a very, very dark brown that they almost looked black; his hair was black and his bangs hung in front of his right eye. His lips looked soft like rose pedals. His ears- well, they're just ears. "Nothing..," I whispered looking into his eyes. I didn't want anything…that could be bought in a store.

"You sure?"

I nodded my head slowly. "Yes," My voice still didn't move above a whisper.

Fang shrugged. "Okay," He backed away and left me, walking around the corner of the house.

_I don't want a lot for ChristmasThere's just one thing I needI don't care about presentsUnderneath the Christmas tree_

I stared at the tree we all had set up in the living room to my right as I sang. I opened the front door and stepped outside.

_I just want you for my ownMore than you could ever knowMake my wish come true... All I want for ChristmasIs you... _

I heard bells ring and looked at my neighbor; he was smiling and he and his family were staring at me, waiting for me to continue.

_I don't want a lot for ChristmasThere is just one thing I needI don't care about presentsUnderneath the Christmas treeI don't need to hang my stockingThere upon the fireplaceSanta Claus won't make me happyWith a toy on Christmas dayI just want you for my ownMore than you could ever knowMake my wish come true_

They started dancing and it was contagious. I started walking down the walkway to the sidewalk and they followed me as I walked farther into the city in which we lived in. We were still dancing. More people started to join and it felt like a musical.

_All I want for Christmas is you... You babyI won't ask for much this ChristmasI won't even wish for snowI'm just gonna keep on waitingUnderneath the mistletoeI won't make a list and send itTo the North Pole for Saint NickI won't even stay awake toHear those magic reindeer click'Cause I just want you here tonightHolding on to me so tightWhat more can I doBaby all I want for Christmas is youYou... _

We were all dancing down Broadway and I felt like laughing. We stopped and danced like crazy. Everyone was dancing the same dance as me and they were all in sync.

_All the lights are shiningSo brightly everywhereAnd the sound of children'sLaughter fills the airAnd everyone is singingI hear those sleigh bells ringingSanta won't you bring me the one I really needWon't you please bring my baby to me_

People were singing harmony and 'ooh'ing along. There was music around me but I couldn't find the source.

_Oh I don't want a lot for ChristmasThis is all I'm asking forI just want to see babyStanding right outside my doorOh I just want him for my ownMore than you could ever knowMake my wish come trueBaby all I want for Christmas isYou_

I have to say it; it was fun! And I surprisingly sounded like Mariah Carey. We kept dancing and singing and that's how I didn't see who was approaching.

_All I want for Christmas is you baby[Repeat]_

We all stopped at the same time and _they all _approached. I stopped smiling and everyone who had joined in my little 'episode'- or whatever you'd like to call it- went back to their normal business like it never happened.

My Flock all walked over to me and didn't say anything. I stood there about to burst of embarrassment.

"Max, you sing really well." Angel complimented me.

"Yeah, Max! That was amazing remember when you twirled and…," Nudge started to droll on and on to Angel.

"I've never seen you dance but I have to say, if you dance like that all the time… you must be amazing!" Gazzy hugged me.

"You sounded great, Max. Coming from me, that's saying something." Iggy smirked. "Gaz, come on. Let's go." Iggy grabbed Gazzy by the wrist and pulled him away to leave Fang and I alone.

I was blushing because I didn't expect my family to see that; I didn't mean to do that. I looked at Fang and he was just staring at me.

"What? Aren't you going to say something rude and laugh at me?" I said with slight attitude. He did do that sometimes to me.

He shook his head. "No,"

"Oh, I know! You'll just laugh and hold this over me forever!" I felt so humiliated.

"No," Fang seemed to enjoy making me mad.

"Well, then what are you going to do?" I wanted him to get it over with.

"This," His voice held the tone of 'duh.' He leaned forward and put a hand on my cheek.

His lips touched mine and I was right; they _were _as soft as rose pedals. Okay, this I didn't want him to get over with. He kept his hand on my cheek and put his other one on my hip. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my fingers in his hair. I kept kissing him and he kept kissing me. Atone point we needed air so we broke apart.

I looked at him and he smirked. I rolled my eyes and smiled at him, punching his shoulder.

"You got your Christmas gift." He said softly.

I smiled at him and kissed him lightly but lovingly.

"Merry Christmas, you two, but stop it for the sake of the children's eyesight!" Iggy yelled jokingly. We didn't listen.

Fang put his other hand on my hip and he wrapped his arms around me, never breaking the kiss. He lifted me off the ground and spun around, still holding and kissing me. I giggled against his lips.

I have to say that this was, by far, the best Christmas ever…


	2. What Hurts the Most

Okay, I'm sorry but this is another musical one-shot. I don't know why I like doing one-shots with music but I think it's fun. I'm weird that way. Anyway, here it is. Song: What Hurts The Most by CASCADA.

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He's gone…He's really gone. Fang left me again, after he promised he wouldn't. I knew he didn't sound like himself when he said it but he did say it and he never goes back on his promises.

I heard a knock on my window. I turned toward it. My breath escaped me and didn't return for several minutes. I finally started to breathe again and I ran over to my window.

It was true…What I thought I saw- what I had been hallucinating for weeks- was right outside my window: it was Fang. I glared at him and willed the tears to not spill out of my eyes. He left me! He had broken his promise!

I turned around to leave the room when I felt warm, strong arms engulf me in a hug.

"I'm sorry," Fang's voice rang in my ear.

The rain outside had become more clamorous. Fang had opened the window and had not shut it. I shrugged his arms off me. I faced him; the rain was being blown in the room by the roaring wind. My face was getting soaked. (The window was as tall as the wall- it was like a door in a way…) I stared at him.

"You think…you can just waltz back into my life after you left me? After you promised me you wouldn't ever leave me again?" My voice was steely and emotionless.

"I did it for a good reason!" He tried to argue.

I shook my head. "You have no idea how much you hurt me," My voice shook. Fang looked sincere and sad that he made me feel this way. "You promised, Fang…you promised!" My voice raised two octaves and cracked.

"I'm sorry, Max. I'm really, really sorry. It couldn't have hurt that bad…could it?" He put a hand on my arm in a comforting manner; it didn't help.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother meI can take a few tears now and then and just let them outI'm not afraid to cryEvery once in a while even though goin' on with you gone still upsets meThere are daysEvery now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me_[Chorus:]_What hurts the most, was being so closeAnd having so much to sayAnd watching you walk awayNever knowing, what could have beenAnd not seeing that loving youIs what I was trying to doIt's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I goBut I'm doing itIt's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm aloneStill harder getting up, getting' dressed, living with this regretBut I know if I could do it overI would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspokenWhat hurts the most, was being so closeAnd having so much to sayAnd watching you walk awayNever knowing, what could have beenAnd not seeing that loving youIs what I was trying to doI'm not afraid to cryEvery once in a while even though goin' on with you gone still upsets meThere are daysEvery now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets meWhat hurts the most, was being so closeAnd having so much to sayAnd watching you walk awayNever knowing, what could have beenAnd not seeing that loving youIs what I was trying to do

What hurts the most, was being so closeAnd having so much to sayAnd watching you walk awayNever knowing, what could have beenAnd not seeing that loving youIs what I was trying to do"

I walked out of the room after I sang the song; I made sure Fang didn't see the tears coming out of my eyes as I left.

Of course, as everyone else, crying blurs your vision so I couldn't see where I was going. I couldn't run out of the house so I had to stop in the hallway. I heard my bedroom door open and saw Fang's shadow. I ignored him.

He bent down next to me and pulled me into his arms, keeping me there no matter how much I struggled.

"Fang…" I was about to yell at him to let go.

I felt him shake his head. "No…I'm not letting go. Hopefully this proves to you that I will never leave you ever again,"

"Why did you leave in the first place?"

"I thought you didn't want me around anymore," He whispered.

"I'll always want you around. You're my right hand man." I looked up at him and smiled a weak smile.

He brushed away my tears. He smiled at me and kissed me. It felt so right to have him kiss me. I turned around in his arms so I was facing him.

I kneeled in front of him and, without breaking the kiss, laid my hands on his shoulders. He put a hand on my cheek. I tilted my head to deepen the kiss and I raised myself up a bit. Now I was a little higher off the ground than he was. I broke away from him to breathe.

I smiled at him and I heard a door open. I looked to my left. There, in the doorway across the hall from my room, was a little girl named Cathy. She had dark brown hair, chocolate milk eyes and stunning facial features. She was three years old and was wearing Winnie the Pooh pajamas. Her half open eyes looked from me to Fang slowly.

Recognition dawned upon her and her eyes widened in happiness. A giant smile broke out on her beautiful face.

"Daddy!" She ran to Fang and he hugged her to him in a protective manner. I smiled. "Mommy! Mommy, look! He's back; Daddy's back!" She was bouncing up and down in Fang's arms, staring at me with glee shining brightly from her. I smiled at her; at the sight.

"Cathy, please, go back to bed. It's late," I told her gently. She looked from me to her father worriedly. "Honey, Daddy won't leave." I looked at Fang telling him that no way in hell was he leaving his family again.

Fang nodded and carried Cathy to bed. He finished with that and came back out to me. "Now…how are those hormones treating you?" He said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. I got up carefully off of the ground. "It's not my fault; you're the one who got me this way."

He held his hand out for me to grab and I took it. We walked back into my room- basically it was ours but with him gone it was only mine- and we sat down on the bed.

"How many more months now?" He asked.

"Two. I hate two things about being pregnant; the crazy hormones and being huge." My stomach was peeking out from underneath my pajama top. "I'm tired; let's sleep."

Fang nodded and made room for me on the bed. I laid down and he put his arm around me in a loving manner. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

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Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? I made it so vague at the beginning so no one would figure it out right away. Tell me what you think; did you think it'd be in the future when they're married? Did you guess Max was pregnant? Did you guess that the little girl was their daughter? Let me know what you think? I think the vagueness went well with the story. Did you? Answer these questions so I can make it better!


	3. John Mayer concert

Chapter 3:

Fang had put a blindfold over my eyes earlier today and had driven us somewhere. He said it was a surprise.

We had arrived at our destination, apparently.

"Fang," I groaned. "You know I hate surprises."

"I heard you the first 4 dozen times."

"Then why are you still making this a surprise?!" I froze where I stood. "No way,"

Fang chuckled. "You want me to take the blindfold off now?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yes!" I was starting to smile.

He took it off and smirked when he saw my eyes light up. "Surprise."

"How did you know I like John Mayer?" I questioned.

He shrugged. "I took your iPod." I narrowed my eyes at him. He chuckled. "Happy birthday."

I smiled and walked forward with Fang next to me. "I still can't believe you brought me to his concert!"

We came up close to the stage and sat down just as John Mayer came out.

He played one of his awesome songs; Clarity.

"I worry, I weigh three times my body I worry, I throw my fear around But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh By the time I recognize this moment This moment will be gone But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on Well all I got's Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh And I will wait to find If this will last forever And I will wait to find If this will last forever And I will pay no mind That it won't and it won't because it can't Because it just can't It just can't It's not supposed to Was there a second of time that I looked around? Did I sail through or drop my anchor down Was anything enough to kiss the ground? And say I'm here now and she's here now Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh So much wasted in the afternoon So much sacred in the month of June How bout you And I will wait to find If this will last forever And I will pay no mind When it won't and it won't Because it won't And I will waste no time Worried 'bout no rainy weather And I will waste no time Remaining in our lives together"

Everyone cheered during and after the song. He played a lot more after that and soon, unfortunately, the concert was coming to an end. Did I mention it was an outdoor, starlight concert? No? Oh, well…it was gorgeous!

"Everyone, a friend asked me to dedicate this song to him and a special someone so…here it is." He started playing again.

"We got the afternoon, You got this room for two, One thing I've left to do, Discover me, Discovering you. One mile to every inch of, Your skin like porcelain, One pair of candy lips and, Your bubblegum tongue. Cause if you want love, We'll make it, Swim in a deep sea, Of blankets, Take all your big plans, And break 'em, This is bound to be a while. Your body is a wonderland, Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands), Your body is a wonderland. Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face, I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase, You tell me where to go and, Though I might leave to find it, I'll never let your head hit the bed, Without my hand behind it. You want love, We'll make it, Swim in a deep sea, Of blankets, Take all your big plans, And break 'em, This is bound to be a while. Your body is a wonderland, Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands), Your body is a wonderland. Damn baby, You frustrate me, I know you're mine, all mine, all mine But you look so good it hurts sometimes. Your body is a wonderland, Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands), Your body is a wonderland, Your body is a wonderland."

I laughed as Fang looked over at me. He smiled.

"Happy birthday."

"You said that already." I reminded him. "That's one of my favorite songs."

Fang just looked at me and it dawned on me.

"You requested it?" He nodded and I hugged him.

"For more than one reason." He whispered in my ear.

I pulled back and looked at him, not moving my arms away from around his neck. Our faces were very close.

"And what would they be?" I breathed.

Fang didn't answer…he just kissed me. I froze for a second. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why would he kiss me? Think, Max, think; why would he?

_Max, Max, Max. _The Voice chided. _I thought you would figure it out without help._

Ha, ha. Just tell me.

_He loves you._ The Voice made it sound obvious. _It is. _Shut up! _He requested the song because A) you like it and B) it relates to how he feels._

Since when did you get so deep? There was no answer, of course. Our small argument lasted about 4 seconds. Fang was about to pull away but I closed my eyes and "went with the flow" as the Voice put it.

I kissed him deeply and lovingly. I have loved Fang for a long time but I was too afraid to admit it to anyone; sometimes even me. I unwound my arms from around his neck and grabbed his hands that were cradling my face.

He pulled back to look at me. I kept my eyes on his as I moved his hands away from my face. I moved them and wrapped them around my waist. Then, I put my arms around his neck again, smiling at him.

Fang smiled a genuine smile that I loved and I kissed him again.

I heard 'ooh's and 'aww's from beside me and Fang and I broke apart to see what it was. The family was here watching our little "moment." Fang I were still in each other's embraces.

"Max and Fang sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Nudge sang out.

"Nudge, they're at a concert not in a tree." Gazzy pointed out.

Angel ran up and went to hug me but stopped short. "Can you two let each other go so I can hug you?" she sounded annoyed.

Fang and I looked at each other and then to Angel. "No," we stated in unison.

Angel tried the Bambi eyes but it didn't work. She huffed and went to stand next to Iggy.

"C'mon. Let's go get some ice cream." Mom suggested.

Fang and I let go off each other and started walking. Fang still had an arm around my waist though.

"Did you tell them to come?" I whispered to Fang.

"No…"

"Liar." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I told them to wait outside the concert area for us. I didn't think they'd follow us."

I chuckled and kissed his cheek. "Doesn't matter; I love my present."

"And which present would that be?"

"The concert…and you."

"What happened to the Max that doesn't sound so sugary?"

I laughed. "You kissed her."

"Maybe if I kiss you, she'll return." He joked. He still spun me around so I was facing him in his arms. He kissed me gently and I tried not to laugh but I did smile into the kiss.

Best birthday ever.

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I know, I know. So far, all my one-shots are ending Max and Fang being together and kissing but the next will be silliness- I hope. I'm more of a romance writer and action writer. I'll try my best to make it silly. And, in order to understand the next one-shot, if you don't know him, look up Bo Burnham. He's funny and he built his own career on YouTube.


	4. AN: Sorry, So, So, So Sorry!

Hey, everyone! Sorry, this isn't a chapter. I won't be able to post anything for the next two weeks because my school is having ISAT testing- it's just a state-required bull sh*t testing thing that all middle-schoolers have to take. Anyhow, I can't post because

A) I'll be too busy to type anything at all

B) I won't have the energy

C) I'll become too lazy

D) During testing- such as ISAT or MAPS (don't ask any questions, please)- I tend to get depressed and moody and that will definitely show up in my chapters so I'd rather not ruin a good story with my $$hole-ness.

So, because of those reasons, I won't be able to post. And I'm sorry for taking too long to update but I have too many stories to attend to, to keep track! For my Inuyasha story (this is being posted on all my stories), I only have three chapters and not many reviewers or subscribers/ story- alerts. If this continues, I may delete it- just a warning.

For my Maximum Ride: More Normalness story, I will try to make time for it. I also have no idea how wedding planning goes so I'm just going to make shit up. LOL.

For my Twilight: Bella's New Life story, I AM going to post ASAP! I know I've been neglecting it but it's hard to come up with good stuff that will be appreciated by many, you know?

For my Bella's Memories story…well, I'm just confused about that one. I'll add memories if I can. Reminder: I'm only posting memories as they appear in my other Twilight story because then they might give things away about Bella that have not been found out yet in Bella's New Life.

For my Flock One shots, I swear-!- I will get that Bo Burnham chapter in there! I just have to think of a way to create it in a funny way…maybe Fang will sing one of his songs…Hmmm…

Anyway, I'm sorry for the delay in updates and I'll try to update sooner. And if you have questions, please ask through review and/or PM.

Thanks for listening- er- I mean, reading!

~Amy-Katherine914~


	5. Bo Burnham

"Fang, what are you doing?" I asked. I had found Fang sitting in the basement with a keyboard.

He looked at me without blinking for a moment. "Um, nothing you need to know about."

I crossed my arms. Angel skipped down the stairs with a smile. "He was dared by Iggy to play a Bo Burnham song to you. Although I don't know which one."

I looked at Angel with a smile. "Thanks, Sweetie." I looked back at Fang. "Go ahead; play."

"Angel, go upstairs." he instructed.

"Yeah, go and get everyone." I told her quickly.

She did as I asked and Fang looked mystified. I just smiled and sat down on the last step. Iggy and Gazzy came down first, sitting on the step above me and Angel, Total, Mom, and Nudge followed, sitting on the steps above them.

"Fang, you need witnesses to show that you DID in fact sing a Bo Burnham song to Max." Iggy informed him with a smirk.

"And don't think I won't know if it's one of his songs or not; I listen to him." I said, slapping Iggy a high-five.

He glared at me before turning to the keyboard.

"Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays But they could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways... I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it, A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock (stalk) it, And girl, if your into a rimmin its only safe if your swimming, And girl don't sit on the couch cause I treat my objects like women. I spit fire like I just blew a demon My shits so hot I leave the toilet bowl steamin Girl im gonna tear it (tarot), like the cards of the gypsies Youll bleed for so long youll get monthly ellipses. If the pants are loose, girl I'll replete (re-pleat) ya. You're a first time vegan and its nice to meet (meat) ya I'm bo yo And im the greatest rappa eva And I'll weather your weather whether you think im clever or not Think your better your not Don't need a sweater im hot Im a real G shawty that can really find your g spot Go to a Vagina orchard, count 1,2,3 Spin that plant around you got a third world country (whirled c*nt tree) That's right, consider yourself warned Im offensive and creative like handicapped porn Your playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am? Your pushin em together like a titty Venn Diagram Look at that CRACK scuse me can I buy a gram? Right below your diaphram, ass looks like your hidin ham. First base, were making out Second base, im getting faked out. Third base, im getting take out And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out But I just don't know I said I just don't care My flos so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear Cause you can smell and spell my stink B.O. lingers and it makes you think Chorus... Girls are like donuts when I be bustin bo nuts, I can make em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze Im like doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her. Casue I skeet her so hard you could call her Patty Mayonnaise. My girl is epyletic cause shes the one im jerkin with Common you asian child laborer show me what your workin with... Cause theres an inverse relationship between respect and sects Im talking bout religious sects like a mormon sect That says you cant have sex with members of different sects, but you cant have sex with members of the same sex So if the sects cant be different, the sex can be same, then the only sex left is some left hand shame And girl I left you cause u left the game and if that don't feel right then u can write my name Chorus.... Look pass the skin and look to the lyrics I run miracle circles around you like spherical lyrics This isn't about ironic pigment If youre imagining this then I'm a chronic figment. My junks so long that it hangs and swings, so at the nude baech people think im lookin for lost rings Play the skin flute while ur big boy sings and if you want to take it all wear African neck rings. Haters call me gay, but that aint hatin Cause im not homophobic, my morals are straight and If im in the closet then you are below me (blow me) Takin the b-a-t out of basement, homey."

Iggy and I were laughing by the first verse and everyone else started to laugh after us. I high-fived Iggy again once I calmed down.

"Oh my gosh, that was great! Sing another!" I told Fang.

He shook his head. "No, Iggy said one song."

"Yeah, and I say another." He shook his head. "Hey, Angel-"

Fang groaned and picked up a guitar sitting near the keyboard. "Fine," He grumbled.

"Yo i dont got bros, dont hang on the streetsi dont beat my hos, i only beat my womanize cause you no its truethat when you look in thier eyes you see thier people tooMother effin suffrage!You know im a gangsta, you know i do coke,but i had to go to diet, cause it burnt my been doin drive-bys all of my life, cept the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.3.14 apple pi, i whip, clean it off, and stick it in her by "it" i mean contact lense3.14 apple pi,I got rhymes and flows that make hitler bush wont he jsut yell and rantbut hes a presiDONT who ameriCANTI spit gangsta hymns, cause i'm a gangsta straight,I think of 20 inch rims when i 're gonna be late, theres no time to waste,cause the girls that i date, have a particular taste of my weiner! (snap)3.14 apple pi why was i born white no one quite knows why,Gansgsta sell their rocks, ive got a collectionYou couldnt get a rise out of a yeast infection.I'm a lyrical heretic, but i'll make you laughhit with you rhetoric, then i'll cut you in need to be a clown, i dont need to be nice,How bout you sit down, and i serve you slice...of my 3.14 apple pi my voice is so smokey itll make you high...Heres a confession its all about me,Heres my impression of a broken jet come the yo little thugs wanna mess me with me?know that ive been doin drugs since the age of 3.I took my ceral, stabbed it open with a that shit and i got high on Life.A guy asked me for change, saying my mind was too dense.I said you wont make cents if you dont make finale...you know i flow and show it, you know that bo know it,Youre lawn i'll mow it and grow it cause he's a sho' my rims be spinning i winning, like adam i be skinnnin and knittin and separate those in my eyes you see flies, and though you people triesJust to disguise all your lies, but baby i be know i did it and shit it you brothers couldnt hit it,Then you try to ride it, too late! i already spit pi."

I sang along from the third verse because it was so funny. Mom didn't laugh; she cried because she GAFFAWED so much. She brought everyone upstairs except for Fang and I. He glared at me.

"At least it wasn't New Math or My Better Half." I tried to make him feel better.

He stood and walked up to me. "Can I have a dime?"

"You won't make cents if you don't make sense." I spun on my heel and went to walk away but then turned back. "There are so many songs you could sing that would be so much better suited for you."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

I went over to the guitar and picked it up. "Rehab Center for Fictional Characters."

He shook his head. "I don't know that one." He murmured.

I stared at him and then began to play.

"hey I'm Santa Claus, I'm the king of snowI hate my wife becauseshe is ho ho hoShe used to please me everyday Then she made it clearthat Santa's only s'pose to come once yearNow i buy whoresRock n rolland i stuff their stockingswith my north poleI had a wonderful lifeWith a healthy householdand a beautiful wifeand a pot full of goldthen my wife spent my riches all by herselfand since women are bitches, blew a keebler elfnow i drink all dayand a part of me diescause my wife's gettin gangbangedby the rice krispie guysEveryday i get up, and i get to work late,my boss says "hey whatsup?"i say im grrrrrrowing tired of this shitthe kids they laugh cause im a sensitive cat"big pussy!" i cant argue with thatif another kid gives me frosted flakesi swear on my life, ill eat his the easter bunny hey im backused to funny now im hooked on crackheaps of heroine aint no jokemarshmallow peeps, covered in coke coke coke cokecoooookedrugs for life thats my planbut now i have no attention sp.....hey pat did you hear? all my elves got sicki think they got herpes from some irish chicksanta, tony, could you guys please stop?oh snap.....crackle and pop." (There's more to the song but that's all Bo Burnham posts…)

Fang stared at me in wonder. "That's…odd."

I shrugged and took the guitar off. I went over and went to walk up the stairs but Fang stopped me.

"Santa multiplied by i, well, I guess that makes him real."

I smiled. "A bag of chips divided by 9, well, that's a Nike worker's meal."

We went upstairs and ate dinner, joking around about Bo Burnham songs. There are so many inside jokes between the Flock because of Bo Burnham.

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Sorry, this is my last one-shot. I'm not so good with one-shots. Sorry…


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